Omake: Flames and Flamers
by Dreamers Deranged
Summary: Naruto doesn't know what a flame is. Neji helps him understand. Well, at least helps him try to understand. [slight NejNaru]


Disclaimer: If I owned Naruto... can you imagine? Yaoi on every page!

Author's Note: Hey there, me again, Haldor Brandybuck. So, this is like an omake of sorts. Okay no, but I thought it made a real kick ass name! Anyway, this fic's kind of based on a conversation I had with Billie (shirougirl123 from the writing troupe) so I guess I could dedicate it to you then Billie! Call me! I got to share this awesome NaruSasu shit I found online!

Hey I was looking at Hanabi... to me she looks like that chick from the ring... only more scary... (cough)

Warning: the only thing I can think of is language... so... rated T for language...

_(flamersandtheirflamesflamersandtheirflames)_

Neji clicked into his e-mail account. He was annoyed to the max with what he found.

"Come on, this is pathetic."

Naruto looked up from his manga. Right now he was laying on his back on the Hyuuga boy's bed, his head hanging off the edge.

"What's up?" he asked.

"Just another flame," Neji told him.

A question mark appeared above... below Naruto's head.

"Flame?"

"It's like the opposite of a comment on the fanfiction sites."

"You're writing those again?"

"I never stopped writing them, I just became more discreet with them."

Naruto rolled his eyes.

"Whatever. So what? Like, someone insulted you?"

"In a manner of speaking, yes."

"What did they say?"

"Nothing out of the norm. "This was the worst fic ever", "The character's were so out of character", "This kind of thing would never happen in a million years", "Your parents must think your a disgrace", "What's wrong with you", all this and more with several grammar errors."

Naruto blinked at him.

"What the hell did you write about?"

"Me pounding you into the mattress."

Naruto's face flushed.

"I wish you wouldn't say it like that."

"How would you wish for me to say it?"

Naruto looked away sheepishly.

"I don't know..."

Neji smirked.

"I think you do know."

"Shut up, Neji."

Neji's smirk stayed on his face. He turned back to the computer and began to go through the rest of the reviews. Naruto threw himself up and sat on the bed indian style.

"So what are you going to do with the flame?" he asked.

"Delete it, I suppose. I don't care much for posting it as a seperate chapter and pointing out the grammatical errors and other mistakes like other authors do."

"Why do they do that."

"I suppose it's almost like a form of public humiliation."

"But it's on the Internet."

"One can't get more public than the Internet."

"Hm. True."

"In any case, I believe that they like to call attention to the one person who dared to post a flame anonymously so that everyone else who reads their writing can agree with them, thus proving to the author that there are more people on their side than against. For whatever reason, I find it a bit childish. Do you understand?"

"Sorta. Why would they post a flame annon-annomous-annymou... that big word you said."

"You don't know what anonymously means?"

"Yes, I know what it means. Just because I have issues with saying it, doesn't mean I don't know the definition."

"Calm down, don't go overboard."

"I'll go over whatever board I want," Naruto murmured.

"What?"

"Nothing. Answer my question will ya?"

"They most likely don't use their pennames out of cowardice."

"Ooh, that was a low blow."

"Honesty is the best policy."

"You sound like a kindergarten slogan."

"And when you sing, you sound like a Kidz Bop CD."

"Okay, one: THAT was a low blow. And two: How the hell would you know what a Kidz Bop CD sounds like?"

"I hear the commercials," Neji defended.

"Sure you do."

"Don't think I haven't heard you sing along to them."

"I don't own one!"

"To the commercials."

"Oh. But they play constantly, how can I now know some of the lyrics?"

"Then how am I not able to know what one sounds like?"

Naruto said nothing.

"Touche."

"That's not how you say it."

"I don't know what keys to press for the accent."

"What?"

"Nothing. So basically flamers don't have the balls to post a flame with their own legal penname?"

"More or less."

"What if they just don't have an account?"

Neji thought about it. "That could be possible as well. But really, why would someone read fanfiction and not write it?"

Naruto shrugged. "Low self-esteem with their writing?"

"Have you read some of the writings that are posted. It's obvious that there are worse fanfiction writers out in the world. I doubt that they would be looked down upon in shame after reading some that I have come across."

"What's with all the bashing?"

"What do you mean?"

"First the flamers, now you're attacking random writers for trying their damndess to create something worth reading."

"I wasn't bashing, I was stating factual opinions."

Silence.

"What the fuck is a factual opinion?!"

"It's an opinion that is also a fact."

Silence.

"What?"

"It's like a contradiction instead of being hypocritical."

"What's the difference."

"A contradiction is something that goes against itself, but isn't hypocritical. For example: a religious liberal."

"Liberals can be religious."

"But I mean a devoted Catholic with liberal views."

Silence again.

"Do those exist?"

"Of course they do. They're a contradiction but not hypocritical."

"Have you met any?"

"Many."

"Really?"

"Alright, no, but I have met two."

"You meet some pretty weird ass people, Neji."

Neji did not respond. He returned his attention back to the computer. After reading what reviews were given to him, Neji began to type reply e-mails from other people that wrote to him. There were a lot of people that he needed to respond to. Not liking the fact that he was suddenly being ignored, Naruto spoke up again.

"Can I read what you wrote?"

Neji stopped in mid-type. He got up from his chair and sauntered over to his bed. He towered over the blonde boy and pushed him onto his back, a mischievious smirk gracing his normally calm features.

"I would prefer to show you instead."

_(flamersandtheirflamesflamersandtheirflames)_

OH! No smut for you! bwahahahaha. I am evil! This is so kick ass! You're right Laith, it does kind of feel good to be writing fanfiction again. I forgot how fun it could be! Anyway, if ya liked it, ya can review and tell me such. That would be a nice thing to do. And if you're one of those author's who post flames and point out stuff with them or you actually give out flames anonymously, offending is not what I intended to do, so please don't chew my ass out for it, it was all in the sake of humor... or was it? (bwahahaha)


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